God Bless the People of Every Nation

  Strangers regularly point to my twin daughters and ask me, “Where are they from?” An airport shuttle driver asked my husband Bryan a few years ago, “Did you get them from Haiti?” My husband responded, “No” and kept moving. I was a little embarrassed. Bryan answered the question, I suppose, but he wasn’t exactly

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What if Colin Kaepernick was Amish instead of black?

I’m fascinated by this whole Colin Kaepernick situation. When I first started hearing about his kneeling during the national anthem at the start of NFL games, I thought it sounded pretty reasonable. His statement, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and

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“Don’t Be Ugly”

I was born, raised and have lived in the South my whole life, but many of my friends are much more Southern than I am. My parents were raised in the Midwest and I think there are some Southern nuances that I didn’t learn. I recently asked one of my good friends how she met

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We should be appalled and we should also stop being surprised

What happened in Charlottesville, VA over the weekend is appalling and sad and discouraging. The fact that white supremacists have become so bold as to march in a college town, with no hoods or masks, is chilling. But it really shouldn’t be surprising. For decades, African-American men and women have been warning us that racism

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“It’s hard to be what you can’t see”

It’s not so hard to talk about the ways you’ve let your kids down once you’ve fixed the problem. It’s much harder to talk about it when you are still wading through the situation, especially when you feel shame about it.   I know that we’ve done a lot of things right with the twins,

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Putting White People on the Roof

I first heard the story from a pastor in New Orleans. As a mom of black children, I hoped it wasn’t true. As a white person, though, I kind of knew in my bones that it was true.   It’s a pretty well documented story. After Hurricane Katrina, there were people stranded in a mixed-income,

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Black women, the twins and me: It’s Complicated

The first time we visited a black church, we stood out as a family. It was a small church and we were the only white people there that day. The woman welcoming everyone that morning said that she was glad to see the members and their families. Then she said that it seemed like there

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Showing Up…and being honest about adoption and race

People I barely know will sometimes share with me that they are considering adopting. This has happened with a woman handling our mortgage, the pest control guy and an assistant shampooing out my hair dye. I’m game to talk about this pretty much any time. I explain the tug I felt on my heart. I

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