Raising strong girls isn’t for the faint of heart

  I must confess that I sometimes wonder if being a feminist makes my job of raising girls harder. Sometimes, the idea of girls who smile and nod and do what they are told without ever questioning sounds pretty dreamy. Being a Women’s Studies minor in college prepared me to fight for women’s rights; it

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Boys to Men (and the moms who love them)

I was terrified about my daughter entering adolescence. I’d heard so many horror stories about the dramatic changes that happen to teenage girls; I was braced for her to turn into a monster. She honestly didn’t change that much. Caroline is still herself—just stretched out a little. She’s still lovely. I should have been more

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Eyes Up

  When I’m watching a cross-country race, I usually position myself near the finish. The finish line is a great place to get dramatic pictures. I also love the cheering crowds and the coaches yelling out encouragement. Sometimes, a coach will yell, “Show me what you’ve got left!” and a runner will find a burst

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Toddlers, teenagers and squirrels on crack

  Both of my teenagers have been more mad at me than usual in the past few months. My best guess is that they are mostly angry that I won’t let them do everything they want to do. There is a weird vibe in our house that I’ve struggled to identify. Is it like a

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Haters Gonna Hate

A few years ago, I was talking to a wise friend about some of the circumstances surrounding the twins’ birth and adoption that were a bit heartbreaking. I was spiraling into despair when she said, “Is there anything you can do about that?” I responded that I could somehow get them a few more weeks

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Bikini daughters and Lands’ End moms

As I was gathering up our supplies for the beach, my 16 year old daughter and one of her best friends came out of their bedroom wearing bikinis. They looked like the fabulous athletes that they are. I stood there in my Lands’ End bathing suit blinking at them. It was like we weren’t the

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Son, I’m Sorry About Your Dance Costume

I am a “close enough” kind of person. I don’t stick to recipes. You can always tell which rooms I’ve painted because there is paint on the floor and the ceiling. I hang pictures by just banging nails into the wall until I find a combination that seems straight. (I know, OCD people, that this

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To my oldest child on her 16th birthday:

Sweet Caroline, I cried today in the grocery store today when the cashier asked me about the birthday decorations I was buying. It has surprised me how this birthday of yours has hit me. I know this emotional reaction to your birthday seems silly to you. You are my least dramatic child. You don’t like

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Showing Up…for the things that I need to practice

“Won’t you miss her?” a friend asked me. We were siting at the pool, watching my daughters play. My oldest child, Caroline, was leaving on a three week adventure trip to the Pacific Northwest. She would be completely off the grid. She would spend her time exploring, kayaking, hiking, backpacking, rappelling, river rafting and camping.

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Showing Up…and Showing Love by Schooching

I definitely over-reacted. I was the only one crying in the women’s bathroom, that’s for sure. The custodian looked worried.   At the beginning of an away basketball game last season, when they announced the players for the other team, I recognized the names of twin girls in our region that are phenomenal athletes. My

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